And I'm back

Still sick, or it came back from not sleeping and didn't improve, also from not sleeping.

The train ride was amazing. I met Dan at NY's Penn Station, he puts me on a train heading to Trenton, "hey, he's going to Trenton" "ok here's a ticket" "see ya!" [That's how far the free train ride goes, from there it's $9 to 30th/Market Street Station.]

Less than 2 hours later, I'm in Philadelphia in the company of a dear friend, who does amazing work for addressing public education on Africa, the quality of life for African immigrants, as well as all of Africa, among other things. She makes me so proud, because while the rest of us complain and theorize, (or write songs), about the injustices in the world, she is actually doing something that can be measured. Interesting to note, that Africa is a continent, with many countries and diverse cultures yet "African Studies" is an umbrella that covers all of our view of Africa, while every other culture is divided into smaller and more specific regions, she is working to directly change that.

10 hours later, we're back in Ft Wayne. The drive, we talked the entire time, we had a lot to catch up on since we saw each other in August. It was great until the last hour. She started getting delirious, biting the steering wheel, and so on. We arrive at her parents house, and crashed for a few minutes.

We arrive at the funeral. Chris gave Stasia a hug, solemn, beautiful, sweet. He didn't know I was coming, and I wasn't sure what the appropriate thing to do is, do you surprise your friend at his mom's funeral? He hugs me and loses it, which makes me lose it. We're crying, and he manages to get out, "I love you man.... see I'm not a robot" and I cried harder and laughed. The sweetest thing ever. Christopher hardly ever gets upset, so much so that a long running joke is he's a robot with no emotion, and that certain normal emotional responses are outside of his programming. Does not compute, and so on. The service was nice and I learned a lot about Chris's family, that I didn't know. John (Mc), Anastasia and I spend the rest of the day with Chris.

Friday we met John, Lindsay, and Finn! at Old Crown - so many of my friends and roommates have worked there. I met Finn last May (also at old crown) not too long after he was born. It's amazing how fast kids grow and change. He's walking and talking, I'm blown away. Sara was there, Fran came in to meet up with us and Sarah Jane was there with her son Cash, also about the same age as Finn. Lyndsey Rae works there now too. We did a little shopping at the other stores in the strip. Sara, Stasia and I went to Sara's to see her new apartment. It's awesome. She has the best decorating skills out of all of my friends combined (John and Lindsay are excluded from the combination, cause they rule too) and am kinda jealous she didn't have these skills when we lived together. I take comfort in the fact she and I will always remain friends, I'll probably always tease her about a lot of things, but it's nice to know we're close after all that time we spent and all that was involved. From there the three of us went to meet up with John and Ian McCormick at Park Edelweisse, a German club out on the south side of town. It's awesome. Cheap German Beer and just a bunch of German heritage. Fort Wayne has a huge German population, until 1942 or so the papers and street signs were in both German and English. We hung out listened to some German songs. Ian is amazingly big. I haven't seen him in so long, hardly the boy that fronted Skullyard when he was 12.
Then we met up with everyone at Baan Thai. I miss Fort Wayne's restaurants so much. The quality is so much better than most places in New York. Especially in Baan Thai, Taj Mahal, and a few others. After dinner everyone but Chris and Jacqui headed to State Bar and Grill. Andy Manes is sitting at the bar, haven't seen him since 1996. I explained why I was in town, and he said, yeah I'm in town visiting too. which is a lie, he lives there. I don't understand the need to lie. It's cool. A lot of my friends have stayed. They're awesome too.
After that we went to John and Lindsay's house. Stayed up really late, catching up, shooting the shit, and so on.
Saturday was insanely busy. Went to Hyde Brothers bought some books. Had lunch with Sara and Leah. Dropped Sara off at one of her billion jobs - Went to Jeremy's and visited with him and Heaven. She's almost 9 years old now!? Went to see my sister at work. Right, this is why I left - all these fat assholes at the mall. Stacey is seemingly even taller and even skinnier than ever. She's super busy, we make plans that don't come to fruition.
After that I went to the Marriott to visit an old boss, he still wants me to move back just to work for him. no way. Sara's mom came in and we talked. I love that woman more and more as time passes, she's pretty awesome.
I made the trek out to my Aunt Jenny's where they were having a party. I come in and my Dad comes up from the lower level - he looks a lot better than the last time I had seen him - but I'm a few steps above him and he's confused that I'm taller than him. "no you dummy, I'm on a few steps above you" I walk down and I get a standing ovation from my family and am ambushed with questions - I don't think they realize I haven't spoken to my dad since January and this was a lot to take in. Before I know it, my Dad's phone is ringing, he told my brother I was going to be there, so he called from jail and I spent 29 minutes out in the cold trying not to be mean to him. I come back in, and the questions start back up. I sternly said, "give me a minute." Awkward silence. I felt guilty. The party noise rises back up. Dad makes inappropriate comments. Sara calls and says she's done with work two hours early. I make an exit. Stop at my Grandpa's which I think ended up being the highlight of my trip home.
My Grandpa is a quiet man. Grandma passed away right before I moved here. I'm soft spoken. My Grandpa is hard of hearing. Awesome combination. We talk for awhile. "I don't know, maybe I'm wrong Damian, but how much is $700 billion dollars per person? Now the government would tax that so much, they wouldn't really be losing all that much, in comparison to bailing out all these big corporations that continue to do more of the same. Well that would fix this whole mess. I mean, maybe I'm missing something, but..." YES! Where did the rest of the family go wrong?
Sara calls and it's time for me to go. I part regrettably, and promise to see him this summer at the lake.
Pick up Sara, get dropped off at Stasia's. We go through the basement and walk away with way awesome stuff. Books, maps, stuff I'll use when I start teaching. And there's WAY more where that came from, and I'm welcome to come back to get some more.
Sunday get up, Stasia's mom packed all kinds of food for both of us. and we're off.
Back in Philly, I meet up with Jessica for dinner. Dan is at Jessica's, I hang out for a few with everyone. Dan takes me to the train in Trenton. Back in New York, I panicked in the cab ride when I couldn't find my wallet. Luckily it was only $20 which I had in my pocket. I arrive home a little after 2am. I found my wallet in the coat pocket I checked 325 times on the way home in the cab. I unpack. Exhausted sick, I fall asleep - instead of preparing for finals. I dream of things, including writing a letter to Dina, which I find really weird, telling, frustrating, a little sad, and mostly embarrassing. A few months ago, a great change occurred in me where I came to some realizations, which at some point I'll be able to articulate, until then, the way I find my dream is the way I find the entire situation. I wake up hallucinating that there are people in my room and I panic until my eyes adjust to the darkness and realize it's just piles of books, cds, and so on. I fall back asleep, oversleep, miss my last actual class for Child Development and Observation. And here is where I am. I should be studying. Here I go.