a day old(er)

I woke up early. too early.
familiarity.

class is ok. actually, no it's not. this class and one other specifically have some really down right stupid people in attendance. fine, people have their stories and opinions, but please don't speak aloud about things you are clearly wrong about. it's just unacceptable and it's a waste of money.

I agree to meet a familiar face for some errands.
late arrival, as usual.
I expected this.
walk to the East River for a seat. we talk about moms, well not mine.
I am being vague and avoiding, here, as well as then.
Run into another face.
what are you up to.
work and school.
oh what for.
well, teaching.
yeah, that makes perfect and total sense.
I know, that's what everyone tells me. It's something I've always wanted to do.
yeah, it suits you.

part ways with familiar faces.
return.
I attempt to write and do homework.
instead I fall asleep.

Meet a friend and his friend to go to the Dreamhouse, per another friend's suggestion.
We arrive, it's closed. I had my suspicions of this ahead of time. Yet took no action to confirm. (it re-opens on the 20th of September).
What now?
He "Hey let's walk around"
Me "OK"
The three of us end up in Soho. there's a Street Fair.
She's home.
Shadows.
Last year she described this as a scene out of "Blade Runner." to an extent, I see where she was coming from and even agree.
Shook off the dust and moved onward.
Just outside of where she and I had one of our first dates to see an old friend drunkly shout out some songs (oh what a night that was in itself!); current company and I were supposed to play here with our old bands - that didn't work out, we're both too lazy and don't care enough, and this venue didn't get it. All of a sudden someone is shouting her name, repeatedly and loudly. My heart sinks again, but it's not her, just coincidence. Of course. Yet again.
when it rains it pours.

The three of us walked the Williamsburg Bridge. I did this one other time, and it had everything to do with her; I had to walk the tension off after spending the day with her shopping, seeing a movie, touching, and flirting. Here and then each step lifting and adding unbearable weight. each step bringing me closer to and farther from.

I notice and remember these things and instantly regret I do.
at the same time, no I don't.

a few days ago, a friend and I were conversing about her friends heartache and that she was making baked goods to cheer him up. I use this opportunity to say I want baked goods as well. She tells me I'm obsessed, and I let out a laugh and too much information. yes perhaps. She meant that I always want free stuff and to be taken care of.
(m)ending.
I continue to wear it on my sleeves, at the very least, I still have one to wear.