last one for the night/month

"Tirelessly thought begins from new things, returning in a roundabout way to the same object. This continual pausing for breath is the mode most proper to the process of contemplation." Walter Benjamin, The Origin of the German Tragic Drama

"Only he who can view his past as an abortion sprung from compulsion and need can use it to full advantage in every present. For what one has lived is at best comparable to a beautiful statue that has had all its limbs broken off in transit, and now yields nothing but the precious block out of which the image of one's future must be hewn." Walter Benjamin - One Way Street.

some things I found/heard/read/saw recently

- The mediator between the head and hands must be the heart.
- People spoke the same language but could not understand each other.


"Who said that time heals all wounds? It would be better to say that time heals everything except wounds. With time, the hurt of separation loses it's real limits. With time, the desired body has already ceased to exist for the other, then what remains is a disembodied wound." - Samura Koichi

I admit, I'm part slacker, but also, I tend to take on WAY too many self imposed projects, hardly ever finishing any of them. You're more than welcome to give me a little push, or even a full on righteous kick in the ass, I probably need it and even more so, deserve it.

so tonight, I'm going to keep this window open to remind myself to get some things done. maybe like a gentle nudge.

- I started and finished an art piece - http://flickr.com/photos/excabyss/3066767117/ - I dunno what to call them yet, I do know where I'd like to end up, and til then I'll just keep experimenting - roughly once a month or so.

and I stayed up a lot later than I wanted to talking to my sister - we still are talking. and it's been kinda amazing. She rules, so much, THE best sister in the world. I'd fight you over it and you'd lose.

and I also ordered 5 books - 3 Walter Benjamin, Let the Right One In, and The People of Paper.

a few days ago, I posted three videos from the first reunion show DLA played, we didn't get any footage from the other shows. I mentioned I'd try to fix the audio, well I did, and it was really distorted - I hope to get Keith's footage and hope it's a little better and I'll edit something. I really tried to edit Rob's footage, but the audio is really really blown out, and picked up the bass way too much. normally I'd say, there's no such thing, but really, too much. But I really like the footage, well the look of it and so on. And tonight I added Misplaced I think it was from 176. 08/08/03; Ft Wayne @ the Freedom House - which ended up being the last show there, as far as I know/remember. We pulled out an old one for it. I tried to make us play an old one every time we played there - I think I realized how quickly we were approaching an end of an era. - PS I need to talk to damien/craig.
here are the videos - http://www.vimeo.com/user696585/videos

I sold my 8 track today and am planning on buying a different one - sometime soon. I've been trying to work with this one, and I just don't like it, and I can't edit the old stuff, so it's got to go. So hopefully I don't forget everything. I'm working on about 30 songs right now.

one of my new bands is starting tomorrow. we'll see how that goes.

also one of my teachers who is a doctor is really pushing me and a few kids I worked with on starting an organization based on our presentation. it's kind of amazing the degree she believes in us - but there's no way I can do that, right now. I guess we're going to do some things and see how realistic would be.

sorry my posts have been so all over the place, but this is really an accurate picture of my head and life right now. I hope to get more focused and tell some stories and other essays and such.

I ain't missing you at all.

Last night (Saturday, November 22), someone not tied to my past what-so-ever and having no idea of my old nickname, which struck me as semi-out of the blue, called me grandpa. I suppose that it is my fate and it will continue to follow me around. But it really makes me wonder, am I really that old and/or grumpy? I'd like to pretend I earned this nickname through my wisdom, and amazing advice.

Tonight (Sunday, November 23), I went to a show and was spoiled with great company, gifts, free food, free drinks, free admission, and on top of all that, Towers played an amazing set, one of my faves from them.

I don't know where I stand in so many areas of life. right now I'm thinking about a few individuals. With one in particular I have been interacting with a lot and I'm getting really comfortable with having that person around, even if it's just me talking that persons ear off, which leads me to think I'm going to develop stronger feelings, which will lead to disappointment, I already know, but I can see it happening all the same. I'll admit it, it was the same person that called me grandpa on Saturday night. Another person I haven't had any contact with for a long time and that makes me even more bitter than I already was (adding to my grumpy nature, and overall grandpa-ishness). Another individual I had around a lot over summer and I miss a lot more than I expected. There are a few others that I miss a lot. There are two specific people that I am anxious for their arrival.
Can I be any more vague?

I picked up Rob's video footage that he shot of our first reunion show, from the end of August - the audio is not good, the video is great - it made me miss the boys sooooooooo much. we played a lot better than I thought we did. I might be able to fix the audio or something to share it. if nothing else it will add some alternate angles if I ever get Keith's footage.

I'm cold and tired and missing you.

Get Hustle

Get Hustle is this band that is still active from Portland. Here are their first releases - almost 10 years old. I don't think they are in print anymore. GSL had talked about releasing them on a CD but, sadly they closed their doors earlier last year.
Their first 2 releases were not as bordering on the free jazz territory their more recent material seems to flirt with.

Get Hustle first lp and 7"
Satan Be Gone is one of my all time favorite songs. There is something really amazingly sexy that is captured in this song. It feels like a throwback to old jazz around the birth of R&B and such. Also I've Got A Gun and I'm Excited is pretty sweet.

I saw Get Hustle and Joan of Arc at the Volcano Room, in Indianapolis in... it had to have been 2000, I can't remember. Amazing live band. Both of them at that time were awesome. it was an odd pairing, but rad.

Ron Avila was in Antioch Arrow, Holy Molar + some other bands that were ok, at least at the time. I'm not sure about the other members, but you know... it matters.

700 trillion says he will keep the change

Sure it's easy to be critical, but that is such a necessary part of what keeps things progressing.

I came across the following doing some research on a paper I need to finish on Robert Jensen's article "The Greatest Nation on Earth" - which is, in short, a critique of anyone, or any nation to claim that they are the greatest (individual or nation). Jensen claims anyone who states such is “either mentally unstable or he’s an asshole” he goes on to say these claims are "depraved and dangerous."

I would disagree and point to Muhammad Ali. It's subjective, of course. I also feel one of the greatest tragedies to ever occur is the assassination of Malcolm X. It's something I always come back to for inspiration - his level of personal change that he accomplished during his lifetime, is by far a perfect example of our potential for greatness. Anyway, I'm off topic, kinda... change, greatness, and so on...

Robert Jensen is a respected journalism professor at the Univesity of Texas at Austin, an author, and a political activist.

This comes in a later chapter of his book - "Citizens of the Empire: The Struggle to Claim Our Humanity"

"... the Soviet Union was a global military threat to our existence was a political weapon to frighten Americans into endorsing wars to suppress independent development in the Third World and accepting a permanent wartime economy. With the Soviet Union gone, American planners needed a new justification to keep the military machine running. International terrorism and threats from drug traffickers were tested as rationales during the 1980s as the Soviet threat receded. In the 1990s, talk of "humanitarian interventions" also became a justification for a bloated military that was far beyond the level needed for defense. On 9/11, the vague terrorism justification became tangible for everyone. So, even if nonmilitary approaches to terrorism are more viable, the rationale for ever larger defense spending was set."

It IS time for a change.
What's the old cliche about a sinking ship and taking in more water than you can bail out?

art, truth, and death.

"The Truth is always an abyss. Man is condemned not to die, but to live. I'm fighting the most hopeless battle there is."
"Against whom?" I ask.
"Against myself."
- Kafka to a friend

"We have art in order to not die of truth."
- Nietzsche

Carol

Carol was this band from Germany. I don't know too much about them.
They are somehow tied with the whole Bremen scene and the bands Acme, Systral, Minon, Metöke, and Mörser.

as an aside:
I saw Mörser at Columbus fest a few years ago - the one with those total bullshit safe spaces, I think 1999. Whatever. Pretty funny and good sense of humor, and there were a lot of members in the band. 2 guitarists, 2 bass players, 3 singers and a drummer.

here are 5 songs that are out of print and hard to find of, as far as I know, all of their recorded output. I have at one time or another heard they had some unreleased stuff, but rumors run amok.
Carol - 5 Songs

I've got nothing. Come back some other time.

I fixed the files for Fragments For Walter Benjamin. I broke it up into 4 parts. I tried to edit it in sections that made sense, but I didn't want to spend that much time on it. I really encourage my friends to watch this.

Two releases for the label are planned.
First is Morrow's first full length. we're doing a limited run on cd and hope that it gets picked up by another label. then I'll press the vinyl.
Second is a tribute record to Dinosaur Jr's You're Living All Over Me. bands include, Morrow, me (haven't decided on the name), Skything, Algernon Cadwallader, Drowning With Our Anchors + more TBA. we have 5 of the 9 songs accounted for. This will not be out until around my birthday. I haven't decided the medium either.

I don't know about my travel plans to visit everyone. I'm going to Hawaii in February for a few days. In May/June I might be going to Japan with a band, more details will be announced and stuff soon. So next year, it might be everyone coming to see me.

Never go into things with high expectations. I should remember this, but I was so stoked on the movie, Let The Right One In - it didn't disappoint, but I wanted more devastation, more loneliness, more alienation. It's still all of these things, just not what I expected.

I keep forgetting to mention that I named the song the Morrow (from Dead Letter Auction's last 5 songs) after the movie Gattaca (which is one of my favorites) - Michael Nyman who did the amazing soundtrack for that movie, also had a song called the Morrow. This was named after Jerome Morrow (Jude Law's character). I would like to think that the band Jerome's Dream was also related to this movie, even though I only like 1/2 of one of their songs (untitled number 2). Jarod named his band Morrow, after the DLA song. So you can see the tracing of an impact. However insignificant you think you are, might have been, it lasts lifetimes, and goes far beyond your immediate understanding. People you'll never even meet, will be influenced by something someone else was influenced by.

Anyway, midterms, up to my neck in work, which I need to get back to.