Monday, January 21, 2008

Funnies.

This stuff is taken from issue #3 - September 1998.

******
I was reading a letter from a long lost friend at a stop light today.
The Van rolled ever so slightly.
Barely.
Bump.
I hit, of all cars, a camaro.
2 young people turned around and stared, the funniest looks I have ever seen.
The driver, a young female gets out to check for damage - of course there wasn't any damage -
"I'm sorry" I shouted out the window and attempted to return to the letter.
I could feel someone watching me. I glanced up and the passenger was still staring at me with an extremely funny expression fixed upon his face.
He was also displaying idiocy by saying moronic things.
I laughed. I couldn't help it, it was funny.
This upset him quite a bit. He got out of the car and came up to my window.
I was still laughing at him. A little harder now that he was standing outside my window.
He was yelling all sorts of stupid things at me, calling me names and words that I won't even use.
I had to explain my laughter was because of how immature this guy is, which upset him even more.
"You fucking dick, you need your ass kicked."
OH MY GOD, I laughed so much harder - you know the laugh when you just can't stop and it gets worse and worse...
He turned RED, then screamed just like a pig would,
"Step out of the vehicle, so I can kick your ass!"
This is the funniest yet. I laughed harder still.
The light changed to green, and the driver that had been yelling at him the whole time to get back in the car SCREAMED at him to get back in the car NOW.
He turned around and did as he was told. I saw another moronic display, his T-shirt read: "silly faggot, dicks are for chicks"
so I ran over him.
Ok, no I didn't, but that put an end to my laughter.
I followed them, not on purpose, my destination was along the same route or something. They turned into, of all places, a Wal-Mart. Go figure.
As I passed them I noticed the car was beat up beyond recognition.
He glared and flipped me off.
I laughed at him and drove on.

******
the other day while driving I glanced over at a car wash, the kind with the really big vacuum cleaners for the cars, well anyway some guy was vacuuming the trees.

I saw a young person wearing a shirt that said "shut 'em down" in reference to public enemy, he lit up a cigarette.

while one guy is telling me he has to work third shift in order to spend any time with his child, another guy tells me he works third shift to stay away from his children .

I get made fun of for reading at work during breaks, if you could only hear these people talk.....

the way people swear up and down and complain about something but still pay for it.

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