::Lyrics:: 1998-2003

the Bridge - September 2003
the Bridge
and if I pull slightly
we could drive off the bridge
take a dive for old times
just don’t blame nodding off
I am content with the purpose
I am content with the intent

what will you find in your heart
what will you say tomorrow
you’ve crawled across your mirror
now turn it around

toss it away, brush it off (I’m crossing over)
stay if you will, say what you will – now it’s my turn
- we’ll make it as far as we can see
and I can’t close my eyes.

the Message
keep pushing past
for it is all we know
eyes dead set on the burning
dead set on burning it down

and we won’t wait for sound
just hold out hope
but what if we’re wrong
we will never be here again
just don’t wait on them
and don’t wait for sound.

the Medium
let the channels flood
do you hear the failures
or what did you find
is this sight
is this slight
or second guess a shadow.

all this burning
and waiting on tomorrow
begging to be buried or saved
but you better not
you’re better off.

don’t wake me

the Morrow
like clockwork round again
you fall back in place
it’s all just routine
it is all just
but I can disappear I can make the call back when it’s more convenient for you
when no one else is around
but you are acting + it’s wearing + fitting
it’s just a put on, so put on your mask
your line is almost up
you’re lying, the waking,
you’ll never wake again
wake tomorrow
this time it is you.

the Mourning
a little distance never hit so close to home
not left empty
not leaving without scars
having left your mark
a little distance never hit so close

shut in and locked out
this is your doing + this is your work
biting my tongue + biding my time
shut in + locked out…

as small as it may seem
I want to see you
I want to see you here tomorrow
I will meet you half way.

Cancer of Time - March 2003
Foreshadow
"I sing of arms and a man whose fate had made him fugitive"
but we're cutting the anchor loose and setting our own course.
so step up this is a call to arms but I'm asking
will a bullet save time and money?
I want to see their buildings lay down
I want to see the captains go down with their ships

Never to End
"each step forward is the last, and with it a world dies, one's self included. we are here of the earth never to end, the past never ending,
the future never beginning, and the present never ceasing.
this never - never world which we hold in our hands
and see and yet is not ourselves.
we are here which is never concluded never shaped to be recognized,
all there is and yet not the whole, the parts so much greater than the whole."

Excise
is it worth the drive is it worth the time
it keeps coming back cutting deeper.
just kill all light so our eyes can't meet
I won't say a thing I won't even breathe.
then I spread my ruin just like my wings.
can I retract the incision you gave me this knife
isn't this what you wanted isn't this what we wanted.
just kill all light so our eyes can't meet
I won't say a thing I won't even breathe.

At 6's & 7's
cut the fingers off + cut the noose
suffocate the thought + strangle the chords
it's the silence broken to fear most...
burn down our house.
but it's not you it's not for you
I will not sing you a song.
I am the ringing in your ears before sleep.
...tonight we die asleep.

Deficit
I wanted to drive this one home
but before I go remind me why
another one & another & on & on
this silence isn't waiting for fracture
one foot drags the other
& our hands don't come clean
maybe forgotten or shelved
too quick too dismissed
a shot a ringing a dead silence
we can't shake the shadowed valley
& our timing is past
what is for the owning now & to where do we run away
there's dust on the day & it wears you well
my eyes are open

Give Chase
(somewhere down there they're making their way back home)
but with as far as I am I'm living with ghosts.
arrest these fugitive thoughts for you are always suspect.
give chase come back arrest all time just to catch a breath.
give chase come back just wait, stay.

Seconds
seconds not rate seconds not best
fate's on the trigger yet I'm relentlessly half-cocked
so [please] hit me head on let it pour down on me
the end is just seconds away an illusion I allude to
the end is just seconds away and it's where truth lies.

In Response
it comes so easy now that it’s yours
best laid plans got you this far but you’ve got no heart + that’s a heavy hand to holster.
we won’t win what you’ve lost
it doesn’t mean we stop
and it doesn’t mean we lost
you’ve marginally missed the mark
it’s so cold a message sent so clear turning footprints but we kept quiet
I’ve seen enough a distant echo, but not like this no not like this
breathe nights tonight, or set it aflame, or leave it alone

Protean Models
I am turning the leaves I keep waiting but it never comes
just one too many times now I'm going under
when the shots were heard no one said anything
no one counted on condition and no one seemed surprised
but I'm not sunk all the time
I come up to understand to dilute the poison
today there are no thoughts of trains
and no speeding bullets to come save me

At Daggers Drawing
the tide rolls out and all have come home
when time is worth it's weight will we take that call
when time is worth it's weight will you take that call.
we met at high noon but our revolvers ran out of bullets
so take this sharp knife take my broken mirror;
if it takes seven i can stand the wait take your masks take my dead skin
now I see it was me...
I'm on the run again but with a tongue of ash I hold your eyes
(this was our last dance)

Cancer of Time
I know not luck
this is no accident to be sure
these steps my math calculated.
but it's a wire I'm walking
and my blood is boiling
this is only a small part
but it keeps me in check.
when I asked to cut my teeth
you gave me wings instead
this is what you did to me
so stay to bury me, just not by your hands.
weighed/wait it out
it's a kiss of death for a breath/breadth of life
weighed/wait it out
I will take the bullet if you will listen.

Vertigo (September 2001)
Apollo [13/11]
washing in high tide
just like a revelation of the moon slipping away
prevention is worth a pound of cure
eventually everything must cease
but where is this ailment being transmitted from
magnification is burning holes through me
unsettled seas cast dark reflections
and I’ve done nothing but dig shallow graves [how do you sleep at night]
arrest all sense of accomplishment these solutions stare us down yet we’re walking away at the same pace
it’s the driving force that gets us nowhere
the tighter the grip the more you’ll slip through, but if I let go, you’ll just drift away
so lets play the part I’m dressed for the kiss and just one more time I’ll show you forever
arrest all sense of accomplishment
we’re only heroes in our sleep slumber clumsy suicide
even these major roles are just a bit part
so lets play pretend I’m dressed for the kill
and for just one time we will live forever
yet I’m dying for a sense of gravity to shed this skin to shatter the mirrors
to adjust to wake to focus to begin again

Stigmata
I crucify myself everytime this train of thought tangles the tongue ties
and I bleed black blood
it’s like I wish I could set fire; there will be no rebirth without death
I am always on the edge, looking over I won’t jump
but the urge runs through these vein in vain
these thoughts cut like nails through the wrists
I don’t want to be a fallen star of morning

Across a wire
I’ve taken these steps before
but add poison to my position
then it’s not that easy
analyze the results of a time and motion study
the sands are running out
but what’s left for them
you’ll know where you are
when it’s too late
mechanical reactions
angst served ammunition
I’ve begun to recognize the parallels of our violence
but I’ll escape through relief of imperfection
the drive is perverse, but not an obsession

A View
one can overlook only so much even from the top you can only see for a few miles at best
but consider that it’s almost always overcast
it’s just repetition it’s a history death by defintion it’s a fever in me
then you say “it’s not me, I am not... I am not like them and i really wanted to believe in all of these things but i know that it’s just me trying to convince myself”
these things never change I see the same things over and over [every night] the traffic ties heads hang in sorrow or shame and the sky recedes just when you reach for it when you say “it’s not me i am not... i am not like them...” I really want to believe you but I know that it’s just you trying to convince the both of us
these patterns were set long before but it’s when you see yourself, it is when you see yourself tracing the footsteps that we all hope you wake before you hit the ground.

[old lyrics 1998 - 2000 ]
Misplaced
and what was it again forever
I'm losing faith in day to day
so why can't I see passed these mirrors
I've misplaced all that was palmed as nothing
now I'm biting my fists
to prevent me from spilling
more than I could clean up
with hands tied to tongues that bleed
I still have these questions
so if my curiosity is fed
will I kill this lion of rage
I still have these questions
and I always will

Looking Glass Eyes
reaching out doesn't make much sense
when you can't return with an answer
I've tried for too many years
blank stares prove I'm wasting my time
saving waiting planning for what
I never knew what I wanted
because you could never get passed
our hang ups of what never was and what never could be (what's so different now?)
then I find myself in denial "this isn't me"
all I see are lies

Throw the Towel in
I really wish you would stop playing god
for just one second so that you could see
that lost is where we're headed
and nothing will save face
nothing will save you
so let go just let go
before it pulls you back in
and you drag me down with you
believe me it's just getting worse
you can't extinguish the fires
when you're feeding the flames
I am not as blind as you wish I were
the next time this door closes
the locks key will be thrown out
you will never make the proper connections and I've already given up

An Introduction to Film
silver sounds scream in my ears and these hands cannot faded these thoughts
silver screens in my head, there’s this film of you playing
and you're smiling you always seem to smile in these pictures and that's always playing with my mind they're always playing in my mind
and I wake from dreams of you to find your shadow running away I've only begun to scrape up these pieces it's just so different I'm out of breath out of time I could never know where I thought this would get me
I am always searching for the words for the words to do this just but no words could do this justice

Bored Game
I don't mean to belittle this gesture (movement)
but our definitions of cool lie so far apart
recognition of some distant reflections
recognition of someone I thought I knew
but who are we kidding I am at fault for not taking the time whenever I find the reasons why guilt forces the showering of gifts and these conversations that could never add up to more than whatever it's cool parting not caring if we ever cross paths again
it's all just a waste of time that we both have too much of
I am confined only by these destinations
(that I never mapped out)
I am confined only by you

Recurrent
but split tongues shouldn't spit promises of
tomorrow forever empty
when it's already well known
that these tomorrow will never come
when will today actually be faced
these days just keep going by and nothing is changing [/and you're changing nothing] - nothing changes
your idol talk is making me sick
promising tomorrow anew
forgetting histories greatest of lessons:
it's only a matter of time for Rome to fall again and again and again

Corrode
so maybe I thought I could see through these brick walls I never even meant to build we were walking hand in hand trying to break an arm of distance trying to break an arms length that I have forced you (all) to stay or was it just offering palms to a setting sky
it was carved in wood but not in stone so what were we thinking forever when you consider that we cannot see passed today so just when is tomorrow burning bridges for stepping stones
now I wonder just how far we thought we would get on our own
now I know I was just letting in
more than I could let go
sometimes it's easier when you don't say good bye

Nice intentions, but your aim is slightly off
you always want to pull the trigger when the guns pointed at your foot whet it's stuck in your mouth

Housebroken
sometimes beginning is the hardest part
then our eyes meet and I'm not so sure
I watch in disbelief as our eyes kiss the winds of change a look of becoming just another stranger amongst so many lost i know you still remember as I can't easily forget either an apology will offer no redemption for the undone but I feel there's just one more thing to be said maybe a simple hello maybe there's just nothing left to be said
sometimes we hold on to these things that we could never know I'm just holding on we could never know so we hold each other to these things that we could never know.