Tuesday, February 5, 2008; 12:07p

Still this 4:30a.m. crap. I have been waking up at 4:30a.m. everyday for the last month, on the dot, with out fail. I'd like to think this is improving. But I've been doing this waking up in between 4-6a.m. for no reason, for 3 years with regular occurrence, more on than off. And during those times, more often than not, it's 4:30a.m. What is this? I was born at 3:27a.m. so that isn't what it is, did a relative die at this time? I mean seriously, it's starting to really get to me.
Eventually, I got up and did a few things.

I walked out of the door at exactly 10a.m. I returned one hour and one minute later (11:01a.m.). I headed North(east) on Troutman and turned right on Metropolitan.
They really do import dog shit into my neighborhood. No other neighborhood in all of NYC has this much shit per capita.
It was an interesting walk. I passed a building that was unbelievably huge in length. It reminds me of the GM factory outside of Fort Wayne. That building is so long that the curvature of the earth had to be taken into consideration when they designed it. This building though, I couldn't figure out. It's not a school, not a prison, and not a factory - Just tons of no trespassing signs and surveillance warnings. Of course, my camera batteries were dead. This is my luck, this building and the run down ice cream stand would have been interesting to shoot.
Out there, it feels like those little towns I would curse for making me slow down while driving through on tour, or the ones off the smaller highways in Indiana - between Fort Wayne and Richmond, for example. The ones you WILL get a ticket in if you are seven miles over the speed limit. It's quaint, run down, dirty, desolate. This is where people come to die.
I passed a mansion and some really huge churches.
I lost track of the random turns I took and in turn got lost myself. It was an overcast day so I couldn't see the skyline of Manhattan. I'm not really sure if I would have been able to anyway, there is a hill in between where I was and the city. I trusted my intuition and found a familiar street name.
I had walked really far east into Queens. I was walking fairly fast, and found myself in unfamiliar settings. It felt good. My mind raced over my past and made plans for the future. I had no time to ask questions or get a word in edgewise. I gave silent thanks for things that have happened, that have allowed me this freedom to explore the city I am learning to call home. I thought of many loved ones, some have come and gone , but they are a part of me now, forever, responsible for shaping the person I am becoming. I am so thankful that no one can rob me of my failures.
As I got closer to my apartment, the sidewalks' shit covered ratio steadily increased.